The situation: I asked the cards what DK needs to know about her present situation and I got: Queen of Cups (water sign female, nurturing and sensitive person, possibly codependent person, someone prone to emotional flooding, a sympathetic friend, the need to take care of oneself, in one’s “own little world,” and intuition); Queen of Wands (fire sign female, possibly narcissism and self-importance, loyal and trustworthy person, someone who speaks their mind, possibly overbearing to sensitive people, creative and generous person, someone who needs constant admiration, and knowing what one wants out of life); Knight of Cups (water sign male, new love interest, creative action and imagination, someone easily hurt and possibly moody, possibly lacks initiative to complete tasks, someone lost in unreal schemes, indecisive person, and possibly a creative phase in life); and Two of Pentacles (number 2, balancing ups and downs of life, mood swings, the need to budget, moderation, indecisiveness, the need to balance one’s own needs with the needs of others). Although there are three court cards, I feel this spread only talks about two people: DK and her current partner. I feel like the Queen of Cups is the best representation of DK. This card indicates DK went into this relationship possibly with rose-colored glasses and definitely wanting to see her partner as her hero. The Queen of Cups does not want to be seen as demanding or high maintenance, so DK most likely has avoided several key issues in this relationship in the name of letting her partner come to her. I feel like the Queen of Wands represents DK not getting what she needs in this relationship and it’s beginning to catch up to her. Although DK is outwardly continuing to carry the weight of both partners here and telling everyone around her she is getting enough in return to justify it, the resentment is beginning to build. The Knight of Cups tells me the relationship may be running on fumes if the other party doesn’t put forth more effort soon. The Two of Pentacles tells me the rest of DK’s life is beginning to demand more and more of her attention, which puts the relationship in jeopardy. The spread begins with the Queen of Cups and ends with the Two of Pentacles. A subtle meaning of this queen is codependence, the act of putting others’ needs before one’s own to one’s own detriment and self-destruction. The Two of Pentacles is a call for moderation. If DK has been putting too much time into the relationship, then the Two tells her she needs to step back. If DK has been arranging her schedule to fit with his, then she needs to just focus on herself. The Queen of Wands next to the Knight of Cups tells me DK has a difficult time getting her needs met in relationships because of her high expectations and unspoken desire to be the damsel in distress. Unfortunately, putting that vibe out into the universe will only attract predators. Having a dreamer card (Queen of Cups) next to a take-no-prisoners lady who knows what she wants (Queen of Wands) tells me DK’s hands-off optimism is starting to greatly clash with reality and it’s causing some strain for DK. Although the Knight partially represents her partner, I don’t feel like the strain is too real for him. He feels less connected to the situation.
I asked the cards what the STRENGTHS of this situation are and I got: Ace of Pentacles (number 1 or 11, success and prosperity, financial gain, a new career, a new sense of self-worth, and an overall sense of wellbeing); Two of Swords (number 2, stalemate, balancing opposing forces within oneself, not being able to see past one’s emotional blind spots, a warning to keep a clear head, logic needed in an emotionally charged situation, hurting oneself by being fair to everyone, and negotiations); Queen of Wands (fire sign female, possibly narcissism and self-importance, loyal and trustworthy person, someone who speaks their mind, possibly overbearing to sensitive people, creative and generous person, someone who needs constant admiration, and knowing what one wants out of life); and Nine of Wands (number 9, the need to defend oneself and one’s beliefs, self-protection, being challenged by others, overcoming obstacles with self-reflection, a lengthy dispute, having the same argument one last time, and defensiveness). The Ace of Pentacles—financial gain, success, and self-worth—shows the real reason DK is in this relationship. Having a boyfriend, no matter how absent he may be, gives her a sense of security and status. I also feel like he is a source of financial support, which she may use to justify the lack of emotional support. The Two of Swords indicates someone who wants to stay in the dark regarding a situation because the solution hurts worse than the turmoil in which they’ve been functioning. I think that is very true of DK because the Two of Pentacles is smack dab in the middle of the security and self-worth card (the Ace) and the Queen of Wands, who knows exactly who she is and what she wants, thank you. The sequence of these three cards tells me that despite the lack of true intimacy in this relationship, it has helped DK grow by providing her with the financial and relative emotional security to do so. The downside of this is DK may be outgrowing the relationship as a result, as evidenced by the Queen sitting next to the Nine of Wands. Although an extraneous queen in a spread often represents another diva trying to hone in on someone’s boo bear, the Queen of Wands has shown up in both spreads so far and feels like she represents DK’s inner knowing that something in this relationship isn’t moving forward and feels like make believe. The Nine of Wands represents DK’s need to defend herself to herself, as well as those closest to her. Also, I think DK may have been getting bolder about suggesting her boyfriend get off the fence, which is huge for someone who hates conflict as much as DK does.
I asked the cards what the WEAKNESSES of this situation are and I got: Eight of Cups (number 8, “easy come/easy go,” a loss making one realize an important dream won’t be fulfilled, a lonely and painful time, and no longer being able to take something for granted); Queen of Cups (water sign female, nurturing and sensitive person, possibly codependent person, someone prone to emotional flooding, a sympathetic friend, the need to take care of oneself, in one’s “own little world,” and intuition); Nine of Swords (number 9, depression, feelings of an all-time low, things not being as bad as they seem, a clear head and time finding solutions, answers possibly lying in self-knowledge, and overwhelming difficulties in one’s life); and the High Priestess (number 2, stillness, inner knowing, the yearning to deepen one’s intuition, a time to act independently, the need to be resourceful, insight, the need to trust oneself, a wise friend who offers good advice, loneliness or isolation, and a mysterious person that draws one’s focus). This spread begins and ends with cards that indicate loneliness (Eight of Cups and High Priestess). The Eight of Cups suggests a sort of impermanence about the situation and it sits next to the highly intuitive Queen of Cups. The Queen of Cups has shown up before as DK, so this tells me DK knows the relationship is not as permanent as she hoped it would be. The Queen of Cups takes this sort of loss highly personally, which is supported by the Queen next to the Nine of Swords. The Nine of Swords is one of the cards that most strongly suggests depression in the entire Tarot. The themes of codependence and getting one’s identity from a relationship keep cropping up in this reading. This tells me DK may have been blocking the realization that this relationship might not end in Happily Ever After because it would make her question who she really is and how much worth does she really have without a man. The spread ends with the High Priestess, which represents two things here. First, the High Priestess represents the intuitive and wise part of DK that already knows the answers. Unlike the Queen of Cups, the High Priestess has no need to look for reasons to stay stuck. She is perfectly okay marinating in the knowledge that all is not necessarily well. The problem with this is she is seated next to the depression card, so DK could very well stay stuck in this mindset. The second thing the High Priestess represents is someone DK has been avoiding talking to because she knows this person is right. I feel like this woman might be about five years older than DK and more of a sisterly figure, but one who always gives the most accurate feedback. DK has been in contact with her, but they have danced around certain relationship topics because DK doesn’t want to hear it and this woman doesn’t want to offend. One of those two circumstances is likely to change in the next couple months, probably by accident.
I asked the cards what the OPPORTUNITIES are in this situation and I got: Six of Pentacles (number 6, giving and receiving help with no strings attached, charity, giving with an open heart, practical help when it is most needed, others willing to share with you, and reaping what one sows); King of Swords (air sign male, one who is wise in matters of justice or law, rational decision-maker, logical and fair person, someone who uses words destructively, a clever person concerned with truth, a good friend who lacks warmth and sensuality, someone who offers clear advice, and potentially a heartless person); Four of Wands (number 4, new home, possibly marriage or nesting, prosperity, movement towards stability, having to leave one’s own life to gain something greater, changes for the better, and hope for the future); and Queen of Swords (air sign female, logical and clear-minded friend, someone who doesn’t suffer fools gladly, a charming and intelligent person, a platonic friendship, possibly a loner, coldness that stems from emotional scars, straightforward answers, diplomacy, and a need for more independence). This spread begins with the card of help and charity (Six of Pentacles) and ends with a figure who would rather be alone than deal with fakery (Queen of Swords). I think the spread talks about more of a sequence of events than a snapshot of the situation. DK has the opportunity to end her isolation and realize that she has great platonic friends who are willing to offer actual help, rather than tell her “everything happens for a reason.” DK just has to indicate that she’s willing to get real with them. This willingness for realness is likely to open up another emotional situation in DK’s life, which will provide the opportunity for a real solution. This second situation feels more legal or political in nature. I see the King and Queen of the same suit, with a domesticity card sandwiched in between them. DK has a real chance of finding a sustainable relationship, but the cards leave it open as to how it is likely to happen. My gut tells me it will happen in one of two ways. The Queen of Swords sometimes represents a perfectly nice girl who is too bright for her own good and got hurt. This girl can’t unsee what has been done and moves forward wiser and more objectively. If DK drops the denial and refuses to entertain bullshit, she will be forced into a position of strength and will be heard if she tells her boyfriend how his complacency is affecting her. I feel like he will most definitely take her words to heart and either end the relationship or cough up a ring. Since there feels like a lot of distance in this relationship, DK might have to physically move her household. If this guy leaves DK, I feel like there is a dark haired man associated with her legal/political situation that is right on her intellectual wavelength and will appreciate her, but not put up with her denial. However, these opportunities won’t materialize if DK decides to retreat further into her shell when the wise female from the previous spread says some things DK doesn’t like, but needs to hear.
I asked the cards what the THREATS to this situation are and I got: Queen of Cups (water sign female, nurturing and sensitive person, possibly codependent person, someone prone to emotional flooding, a sympathetic friend, the need to take care of oneself, in one’s “own little world,” and intuition); Five of Wands (number 5, competition, posturing, challenges, defensiveness, fighting, arguments, the need to prove one’s point, and competition in business or emotional affairs); King of Wands (fire sign male, successful businessman, someone who puts their ideas into the world, hasty judgments, possibly judgmental, passionate person, someone who is loyal as long as they aren’t restricted, someone who does not tolerate demands well, and time to put one’s creative endeavors into the world); and Six of Swords (number 6, healing, guidance available, respite after an illness, entering a more peaceful phase in life, and possibly a change of job or residence). The first two cards are the Queen of Cups, which represents DK, and the Five of Wands. This tells me DK is invested in keeping her reality as she knows it, despite evidence to the contrary. She is afraid of going through any more pain and may look to avoid change at all costs. The King of Wands represents both a person and DK’s tendency to become rash and judgmental when she feels threatened. I feel like this person may be DK’s boyfriend, who appears to be going through a period of intensity and anger. I’m not sure what’s causing the anger for him, but it has nothing to do with DK. The problem is he’s so consumed by his personal situation that he may lash out at her. The problem with this argument is it may push DK further into her denial, which will cause her to put even more effort into the relationship. The Six of Swords is potentially a card of complacency, which tells me DK’s boyfriend will take the tactic of waiting for things to smooth over and return to the normal that makes him most comfortable. The Six of Swords also tells me DK may try to change everything in her life except what is really wrong.
- Codependence: DK needs to watch for her tendency to put others’ needs before her own as a way of avoiding reality and conflict. This reading indicated in several spots that this tendency makes conflicts in her life worse.
- Dealing with “the elephant in the room”: I think this tendency exists in other areas of DK’s life as well, so she may want to think about how real she is willing to get with others and what stops her from doing so.
- Asking for sympathy vs. asking for help: This reading brought up DK’s tendency to get a listening ear from friends, but not dig too deep for fear of what she might find. As a result, nobody really knows what’s going on with her. This is keeping her isolated.
- Using optimism as motivation to improve things vs. keeping things the same: This reading showed in several places that DK’s tendency to see the best in a situation is typically a strength, but is currently working against her.
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