Tarot Reading of the Week: 4/29/19 – 4/30/19

April 29 – 30.

I want super easy on you here because these two days are tough, sayeth the cards.  This is a great time to chill and reflect.

Overview:  Remember the manipulation from last week?  My feeling is it was a precursor to what happens over these next two days.  The situation that has been playing on your heartstrings this month most likely forced you to this point.  The end of April is decision time. You will see things about yourself and those around you that you can’t unsee.  There’s also a lot of rebirth and rebuilding in this spread. You have the opportunity for growth, provided you are honest with yourself and others.  As always, THIS IS NOT MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE OR DIAGNOSIS. THIS IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. PLEASE DO NOT TAKE ANY SUGGESTIONS MADE IN THIS COLUMN AS MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE OR DIAGNOSIS.

I asked the cards what you need to know about April 29 – April 30 and I got:  The Lovers (number 6, a renewal of an existing relationship, emotional decisions that need to be made, a difficult choice that will influence the future, the need to be clear about what one wants in a relationship, boundaries, the need to balance coexistence and keeping one’s individuality, not letting obligation cloud one’s judgment, and the need to think carefully and listen to one’s heart); Death (number 13, a permanent change, the end of an old cycle, a warning against dwelling on resentment or rage, a loss that cannot be retrieved, the need to forgo old attachments, and the need to accept change); the Hierophant (number 5, learning from dreams, a wise teacher, a time to question what is expected of one, the need to retain one’s integrity in the face of criticism, healing old wounds, possibly being the healer, and possibly being drawn to a new philosophy); and Ten of Pentacles (number 10, karma, family inheritance and security, family burdens, finding answers by looking to elders and the past, and possibly family celebrations or support).  This whole spread indicates a major turning point in at least one of your closest relationships, but I have a strong suspicion the changes to this relationship will affect your entire circle. The phrase “you can’t unshoot a bullet” applies during these two days, so please take this as a warning to choose your words and actions carefully. Unfortunately, you will not be allowed the luxury of putting off a decision for a later date. The Lovers is perhaps the most emotionally-charged relationship cards in the Tarot and it always, always, always speaks to a relationship that most closely involves what one holds dearest. The caveat here is what one holds dearest is not always embodied by the people or things one holds dearest. Be mindful of that distinction because it may be time to politely distance yourself from others, break it off completely, or commit to a new way of dealing with them. All the answer-seeking you have been doing in April has led to this point. You are as prepared as you are going to get. Death underscores the importance of any decisions made during these two days, as there are not going to be any take backs.  The blessing in Death is this will pave the way for healthier growth to occur, if you let it. The Hierophant tells me you may question your identity, possibly to the point of wondering if the person you have been was real. The quick answer here is, “Yes and no.” Your actions may have been in character and genuine as they could be, but these two days will show you that you may not know yourself as well as you think. This is the prime time for prophetic dreams or those social situations that seem to occur from nowhere but show us exactly what we needed to know. The Ten of Pentacles tells me the relationships indicated this week are likely to be family ones. This card is steeped in tradition and the wisdom that comes with life experience. Any family events that happen around this time are sure to be telling and will have lasting repercussions. This may be a good time to lean on your partner, spouse, a supportive person in your inner circle, or your pets.

To Think About:  What roles do you play in your life?  Are there any situations where you act like a sanitized version of yourself, excessively censor yourself, or act like someone else entirely to keep the peace?  In what areas of your life have you been comfortable or complacent, rather than truly content or happy? How would you change your family relationships if you could?

Takeaways and Suggestions:

1. This would be a great time to write down your dreams and consult Dream Moods, Aunty Flo, or send me a Dear Spice letter for a dream interpretation.  Dear Spice is free, btw. Just saying.
2. Review all of your exercises from the month of April.  If you haven’t completed the exercises from the previous weeks, you totally should.  Write down any situations, thoughts, or feelings that appear at least twice this month.
3. Being shaken out of a state of complacency or comfort is a strong theme during this time.  List all of the situations in your life where you feel you are going through the motions, walking on eggshells to avoid chaos, staying put because you’re comfortable, or laying low because you’re afraid of change.

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Tarot Reading of the Week: 4/22/19 – 4/28/19

April 22 – April 28.

 

Overview:  Old issues and manipulation are two major themes here.  My gut feeling is this is an issue you thought you walked away from and probably made some progress on that front.  How do I know you made progress? Elementary, dear reader. You have made progress because the person doing the manipulation needs to resort to acting unnaturally sweet in an effort to get a foothold.  This week is definitely a branching point because you will be put into a situation where you need to decide if you’re going to keep moving forward or be vulnerable to the same ol’ games. Shutting your mouth and keeping your thoughts to yourself is a thing this week too.  Just trust me on that. As always, THIS IS NOT MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE OR DIAGNOSIS. THIS IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. PLEASE DO NOT TAKE ANY SUGGESTIONS MADE IN THIS COLUMN AS MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE OR DIAGNOSIS.

I asked the cards what you need to know about April 22 – April 28 and I got:  Knight of Cups (water sign male, creative action and imagination, someone who is loving and sensitive, someone who lacks follow through and initiative, possibly a new romantic interest, and entering a creative phase in life); Seven of Swords (number 7, a cunning and self-interested person, schemes and manipulations that ultimately will not work, sabotage, the need to cover one’s tracks, impulsivity, the need to do a little research or detective work, one who hides their intentions from others, and possibly the need to keep one’s most important ideas and feelings to oneself); Two of Swords (number 2, the need to balance opposing forces in oneself, emotional turmoil, stalemate, the need to keep a clear head, conflict in negotiations or between partners, and the need to face the facts); and Princess of Pentacles (earth sign female, the need to bring an idea or plan to life, a new course of study or apprenticeship, a steadfast and loyal person, and a sense of being grounded).  The Knight of Cups appears this week, possibly as the attractive distraction from earlier this month. However, the Knight feels more like a charming person who is either a flake or a politician in sheep’s clothing this week. The Seven of Swords ushers in more manipulation energy. Part of this energy feels like someone who is out for damaging intel or gossip, but I also get the feeling the manipulation goes both ways and you will be keenly aware of it. All you can do in this situation is remain mindful of your behavior and resist any temptation to spill your guts. You will need to investigate any charming, too-good-to-be-true, or especially sweet energy coming your way this week. Any energy of the sort this week is disingenuous and you will regret making yourself vulnerable to it later. The Two of Swords tells me the faux niceness will be tied to an old emotional issue or relationship that tugs at your heart strings, most likely involving a child or treasured relative.  The Princess of Pentacles tells me you need to stay grounded in what you know to be true. The Princess also indicates focusing on your personal projects—especially creative endeavors, academic pursuits, or home improvement—will help you navigate whatever manipulation is headed your way. Even though we don’t see the Hanged Man or another card that implies compromise or allowing yourself to be delayed for the good of another, I feel like sacrifice is a major theme this week. It goes back to the energy that feels overly sweet or somehow out of place. I feel like that sort of energy you encounter this week will be the other person’s way of finding something to harm you with later. It’s like one of those nasty underground cysts because although you may feel some pain and see some redness on the surface, that’s nothing compared to what’s underneath.  I said it before and I’ll say it again. This energy is tied to some old emotional issue, something that you probably swept under the rug or merely walked away from due to sheer exasperation.  The thing that makes you vulnerable here is your guilt. Therefore, the more you deal with your guilt the less vulnerable to potentially life-altering manipulation you will be.  Ignoring the issue or going with the flow won’t serve you in the long run, so you may find yourself politely calling others out this week.  No need to be nasty about it, but you will have to state the objective facts.

To Think About:  How much of yourself are you willing to sacrifice to make others happy?  In what areas of your life are you carrying the most guilt? Is there anything about these situations you can change at this point?  If what the other person is asking is so fair and just, then why do they have to finesse their way into doing it? What is the most diplomatic way to state your truth?  What are the emotions and situations that would most likely compel you to give away what your intentions, thoughts, and feelings truly are?

Takeaways and Suggestions:

1. Your emotions–especially unresolved guilt–holding you back is a major theme this week.  Do you smell a list coming? Good, because here it is:
   1. Write a list of the first 5-10 situations from your life that feel unresolved.
   2. After each situation, write down 1 or 2 things about that situation that you can easily accept and feel the most resolved to you.
   3. After each situation, write down 1 or 2 things about the situation that feel unfinished, unresolved, or just plain uncomfortable.
   4. Write down the first three feeling words you can think of after each item on this list.  Are there any recurring themes?
   5. Underline any situations that are affecting you in the present.  List at least one way each of the situations you underlined are currently affecting you.
2. Using your list from Step 1, rank the situations that make you feel guiltiest on a scale of 1-10, with 1 representing “not really a thing” and 10 representing “completely suffocating.”  Circle any situations that you rated 7 or above and write down any common themes in each situation.
3. Take your list from Step 2 and write down the following:
   1. The aspects of each situation you rated 7 or above that you can change.
   2. The aspects of each situation you rated 7 or above that you cannot change.
4. Of the things you listed from Step 3 that you can change, what can you do about them in the present?  Write this to the side of your list from Step 3 and circle one or two you are willing to do this week.
5. Of the things you listed that you cannot change, what can you do this week to make sure these situations don’t happen again?  If there is nothing you can do, list that too. Read over your answer and list at least one thing you are willing to do.
6. Of the common themes you listed in Step 2, which feel most unresolved for you?  Write down the aspects of these situations that feel unresolved and rate your willingness to forgive yourself for them on a scale of 1-10, with 1 representing “not at all ready” and 10 representing “I was ready yesterday.”
7. How you respond to any seemingly minor manipulation will set the tone for the next few weeks.  You will most likely be put in a position to either help someone out of guilt or obligation vs. take care of yourself.  Think about both possibilities and do the following:
   1. Draw a vertical (up and down) line down the middle of a piece of paper.
   2. On the left side, write down a statement that reflects you giving the other person what they want, such as “Take custody of sister’s kid” or “Give my buddy money again.”
   3. On the right side, write down a statement that reflects you taking care of yourself, such as “Keeping my money for something I want” or “Not taking yet another family crisis call.”
   4. Write down the strengths of each situation on the corresponding side of the paper.  What do you have to make each situation happen? What are the advantages of each situation?  What has been positive about taking care of yourself vs. helping the other person in the past?
   5. Write down the weaknesses of each situation on the corresponding side of the paper.  What is the downside of taking care of yourself vs. helping others this time? What has typically gone wrong when you have done each thing?
   6. Write down the opportunities you have to make each situation a reality, as well as opportunities that may arise due to engaging in each activity, on the corresponding sides of the paper.  What opportunities do you have for self-care and self-improvement vs. opportunities you have to help the other person? What opportunities will come as a result of you taking care of yourself vs. helping the other person?
   7. Write down the threats to each situation on the corresponding sides of the paper.  What will threaten your ability to take care of yourself? How will any help you give the other person get sabotaged?  How was your ability to take care of yourself sabotaged in the past? How was any help you tried to give the other person sabotaged in the past?

 

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Tarot Reading of the Week: 4/15/19 – 4/21/19

April 15 – April 21.

 

Overview:  The urge to engage in old vices will be especially strong this week, which will be almost ironic because these vices will either be unavailable or will not satisfy you anymore.  Breaking away from the herd will be a major theme as well. The need to go solo may come in the form of irritation, anxiety, or drifting away from the usual noise. However it happens, just let it happen.  Fighting this feeling is pointless this week. You may as well resolve to make the best of it and review all of the money, time, and energy you were perhaps wasting in your old pattern. As always, THIS IS NOT MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE OR DIAGNOSIS.  THIS IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. PLEASE DO NOT TAKE ANY SUGGESTIONS MADE IN THIS COLUMN AS MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE OR DIAGNOSIS.

I asked the cards what you need to know about April 15 – April 21 and I got:  The Hermit (number 9, the need to look within for answers, turning one’s back on the physical world, preparation for change, experiencing what one finds meaningful, possibly a need to be alone, and time to review one’s journey); the Hanged Man (number 12, feeling stuck, the need to surrender parts of oneself that are no longer useful, the need to get rid of old patterns or addictions, obsession keeping one in suspension, the need to use patience and tolerance to resolve an issue, holding pattern, and the need to trust oneself and let go); Seven of Cups (number 7, possibly intoxication, emotions that cloud one’s vision, confusion and indecision, an emotional crossroads, and the need to give oneself time before making a decision); and Five of Pentacles (number 5, feelings of low self-worth and low self-esteem, temporary feelings of deprivation, hidden hope in a situation, and the need to use creativity to move past a low point).  This spread follows the previous week’s theme of loss and the need to re-evaluate a situation. The Hermit breaks from last week’s partnership vibe to tell you that it’s time to meditate, journal, go for a run, go to church, or whatever works in order to clear your head. The Hermit can be a lonely card, but this card feels more like being forced into the position to take a much-needed break. You will need the break when you encounter the stuck patterns indicated by the Hanged Man, which tells me you do not need all those little things you think you need.  Maybe this means taking a break from social media.  Perhaps you should forgo happy hour or retail therapy.  Or you should stop asking 25 of your best friends for advice when you already know the answers.  Whatever it is, I feel like you will either not have access to it, or it will not be satisfying to you.  Embrace the dissatisfaction and hang out by yourself this week. The clarity will be worth it. Speaking of clarity, we get to the Seven of Cups, which indicates seriously muddled emotional energy.  I am not sure how quickly the answers will come, but this card tells me you will have a handle on which patterns and people in your life need to exit stage left. Do not judge what you are being shown.  You do not have to act on it, but just be aware. The Five of Pentacles tells me you may be on the broke side this week, which can create an emotional low point and limit access to the things that we use to anesthetize ourselves into being surface-level content.  The Five is a card of temporary deprivation.  Ride it out and you will be fine.

To Think About:  Self-control is a major theme this week, which can feel like a gut punch because haven’t you been dealing with weeks of chaos?  It is okay to take a step back and excuse yourself from this act of someone else’s drama. Not judging your emotions is a huge theme as well.  Now might be a good time to ponder how the shame you feel regarding certain emotions causes you to lash out at others.

Takeaways and Suggestions:

1. Dealing with discomfort is a huge theme this week.  I’m pretty sure you know a mindfulness journal activity is coming, for heaven’s sake.   Your first assignment is to write down the thoughts, feelings, and situations that make you uncomfortable this week.  Simple, right?
2. A major warning in this reading is to not judge the people, places, or things that need to exit your life.  Murphy’s Law and human social circles being what they are, you will probably have to answer questions about the exit later.  It is probably not a good idea to flip ‘em all the bird as you leave like that JetBlue employee.  However, I get the feeling emotions will be running high nonetheless.  Try this:
   1. Using your list from Step 1, write down the first thought you have as you see each item.
   2. Now go down the list from Step 1 and write down the first feeling you have when you see each item.
   3. Circle any names, thoughts, feelings, situations, etc that appear more than once.  Make a mental note of how often each of these things appears.
   4. Now rate each item on your list from one to five.  A rating of one means “irritating, but I can deal”.  A rating of five means “this has to stop NOW”.  Make a mental note of how often each number appears on your list.
   5. For each item, write down the top three irritating aspects of the person, place, or situation you described.  Make note of any running themes.
3. Harsh self-criticism is an underlying theme this week.  You guessed it. Here’s an activity to help you see how this self-criticism may be getting in your way:
   1. For each item on your list, write down how YOU dealt with the situation (i.e. you avoided it like the plague, blew up, simmered quietly until provoked, gossiped about the other person, got someone else to confront the other person for you, manipulated the situation until you could pick a fight, etc).
   2. Write down one aspect of your behavior you feel was positive and one that was negative for each item on your list.
   3. Write down one thought and one feeling you have about yourself as you look at your behavior.  Is this positive or negative to you?  How would you like it to change?
   4. Using the information here, how are these situations affecting you mentally, emotionally, physically, etc?  List three ways the drama is impacting your life and how you feel about yourself as a result.
4. Cutting out toxic people and situations frees up a lot of space.  If you do not want to fill it with more of the same, try this:
   1. Make a list of qualities, situations, people, and positive traits you would rather have in your life.  The more detailed the list, the better.
   2. What people, places, and/or situations that are currently in your life have these positive traits?  Of these positive things you already have in your life, what is at least one you can connect with this week?
   3. What positive qualities on this list do you have in your personality and behavior?  What is at least one way you can let it show this week?

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Tarot Card Reading: 4/8/19 – 4/14/19

Hey.

Yes, this is last week’s reading…  late…  again.  I apologize, but I had a death in the family and it proved quite distracting.   I swear it was done on time.  Really!  Anyway, enjoy.

 

April 8 – April 14.

Overview:  The words ‘karmic reward’ strongly apply to this week.   I’m talking about the actual meaning of karma, which simply means action.  This week illustrates Newton’s Third Law: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.  In this case, whatever reward you will reap is directly proportional to the amount of effort–positive or negative–you have put into a situation.  Bluffing is a seriously bad idea this week because you will be expected to deliver the goods. A loss that has been a long time in coming will also be a theme this week.  I feel this is bittersweet because even though it will be a sad event, the loss will also show you how much you were held back in the name of maintaining the status quo. Choose how you move forward wisely.   As always, THIS IS NOT MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE OR DIAGNOSIS. THIS IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. PLEASE DO NOT TAKE ANY SUGGESTIONS MADE IN THIS COLUMN AS MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE OR DIAGNOSIS.

I asked the cards what you need to know about April 8 – April 14 and I got:  Two of Wands (number 2, a financially beneficial partnership, the desire to expand one’s horizons, success that comes from restlessness, new plans and deals, and possibly travel); Five of Cups (number 5, loss, grief, crying over spilled milk, the need to let go of an emotional issue to gain something greater, temporary state of pain and melancholy, and the need to focus on what remains); Eight of Swords (number 8, keeping oneself in a victim state, mental bondage or oppression, the need to use one’s creativity to get through a situation, and the choice to stay in bondage or face reality); and Six of Pentacles (number 6, equality between people, give and take without expectations, charity, help coming at the right time, and reaping what one sows).  This spread tells me every bit of preparation you engaged in last week is going to pay big dividends here. I mean, I hope you avoided goofing off too much because the Two of Wands is a major business partnership card.  The thing about this card is while it signals a major opportunity, the person being handed the opportunity better be prepared to show their work and some semblance of the finished product.  Any opportunity given by the Two of Wands is taken away just as quickly if you are not prepared. The Five of Cups speaks to an emotional issue, usually a relationship. In this spread, the Five feels like an expected loss.  This can take the form of a loved one dying after a long-term illness or friends growing apart and going their separate ways. I do not feel a financial aspect to this loss, but it will impact your ability to focus if you let it.  The Five of Cups is a grief card, but it also asks us to focus on what we have that remains. What resources are still available post-loss? This decision to either get lost in sadness and focus on obstacles or use what you have and move forward is further emphasized by the Eight of Swords.  The Eight of Swords often denotes victimhood and someone who either does not know how to do anything but be stuck or someone who sees benefit in being a victim. I feel like this Sword card is double-edged this week. On one hand, you will have the choice of how to move forward after a loss. On the other hand, you will probably encounter someone who is a total victim or be especially sensitive to others playing the victim this week.  Remain mindful of the manipulation that goes into victimhood and think about whether it serves you. This spread concludes with the Six of Pentacles, which reinforces the principle that all relationships are somehow a mirror. If you encounter a ton of strategically pathetic or greedy types, then this is the time to examine any of those tendencies you may have. The Six of Pentacles in this spread also tells me you have an unexpected ally, who may partially come forward this week.  Be gracious, but do not overstay your welcome.

To Think About:  Think about a time in your life you would rather forget.  What about your behavior during that time makes you cringe?  Were you blaming others for things you would rather not face?  Was your ego writing checks your brain could not cash? Could you just not get your life together?  We all have those periods of time when we were not exactly the heroes of our own story. What about the situations you find especially irritating this week remind you of those cringe-worthy points in your life?  This might be a good time to reflect on how you have grown past this versus how some of the old behaviors and resentments may be lingering.

Takeaways and Suggestions:

1. This week brings the choice of moving forward or staying distracted.  Since the distraction is likely to come after a loss, perhaps your best course of action is to allow yourself to be distracted for a set amount of time–maybe an hour or two–each day and keep your weekly goals concise.
2. Honoring the loss is a major part of moving past it, or becoming more functional.  There is no set time for grief. This is not a process that cares about your schedule, thank you very much.  However, you can control how you process and honor the loss.  This technique is a bit on the Jungian side, but it will help you process your grief.  I promise.
   1. Find a small object–such as a piece of jewelry, a rock, or old picture–that reminds you of who or what you lost.  The object should fit in your wallet and/or palm.
   2. Think of a place that reminds you of the loss.  This should be someplace you can get to daily, have a picture of, or have something representative enough of that place that you get the general vibe.  For example, if the loss was your beloved dog, you may want to sit on the recliner where the two of you watched television or go to the park and sit on the bench.  If the loss was an old friend who used to go to Disneyland with you and a daily trip to Mickey’s house is not feasible, find a picture of the two of you there or print out a picture of Disneyland to go with the object.
   3. Set aside 10 minutes daily, preferably at a time close to when you wake up, go to sleep, or take an afternoon break.  It should be a time when you feel relaxed and able to let your mind wander.
   4. Write a small statement of thanks for the time you shared with what you lost.  The statement does not need to be longer than five sentences, but does need to cover at least one good time you had, at least one lesson you learned, what you admire about what you lost, and how you choose to honor him, her, or it today.  Keep your pledge small, like donating a can of food to an animal shelter or rescue or listening to a song that was special to the two of you. If the loss was more acrimonious, definitely make this an act of self-care. This is not a time to criticize or demean yourself for how you feel you failed.
   5. During your designated time, go to the place you have designated and hold the chosen small object in your palm.
   6. Recite your statement of thanks three times, taking a deep breath between each recitation.
   7. Spend a couple more minutes letting your mind wander.  Let your pre-loss memories flow.
   8. Write down any thoughts and feelings that came up for you until you feel a little better.
   9. Remember this whenever you see the object during the day.
3. It is okay to accept help, but many people have a difficult time maintaining a sense of pride when they do so.  Honest give and take is a theme this week. If you journal or have been thinking about journaling, try this technique:
   1. Make a list of all the ways you have helped others today.  Did you expect something in return?
   2. Write at least one thought or feeling you had about each of these ways under or next to it.
   3. Make a list of all the way others have helped you today.  How did they behave to you before and after they helped you?  Do you believe they had expectations of you?
   4. Compare these two lists.  Does it make you feel more comfortable to give or receive?  If you feel you did more receiving of help this week, what is one small way that you can give of yourself this week?  If you feel you gave more than you got, what is one small act of self-care you can do to treat yourself this week?
4. We are bound to see a lot of ourselves in others, particularly parts of ourselves that we do not particularly find attractive.  You guessed it. It is time to make a couple lists in your journal:
   1. Either at the end of each day or at the end of the week, make a list of everyone to whom you gave advice.  Who were they? Did they ask for the advice? What was the general topic of the advice? Be specific about the situation and others involved.
   2. Write at least one thing you said to each person to the side or under their name on your list that applies to you.  Again, be specific.  Why do you need this advice right now?
   3. Write at least one thing you find positive about each person you gave advice to and at least one thing you find challenging about them.  Which qualities were easiest for you to write and which were the most difficult?
   4. Review your positive and negative qualities list.  Which of these traits do you find most similar to you?  How do you feel about each of these similarities?

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Tarot Reading of the Week: 4/8/19 -4/14/19

April 8 – April 14.

Overview:  The words ‘karmic reward’ strongly apply to this week.   I’m talking about the actual meaning of karma, which simply means action.  This week illustrates Newton’s Third Law: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.  In this case, whatever reward you will reap is directly proportional to the amount of effort–positive or negative–you have put into a situation.  Bluffing is a seriously bad idea this week because you will be expected to deliver the goods. A loss that has been a long time in coming will also be a theme this week.  I feel this is bittersweet because even though it will be a sad event, the loss will also show you how much you were held back in the name of maintaining the status quo. Choose how you move forward wisely.   As always, THIS IS NOT MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE OR DIAGNOSIS. THIS IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. PLEASE DO NOT TAKE ANY SUGGESTIONS MADE IN THIS COLUMN AS MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE OR DIAGNOSIS.

I asked the cards what you need to know about April 8 – April 14 and I got:  Two of Wands (number 2, a financially beneficial partnership, the desire to expand one’s horizons, success that comes from restlessness, new plans and deals, and possibly travel); Five of Cups (number 5, loss, grief, crying over spilled milk, the need to let go of an emotional issue to gain something greater, temporary state of pain and melancholy, and the need to focus on what remains); Eight of Swords (number 8, keeping oneself in a victim state, mental bondage or oppression, the need to use one’s creativity to get through a situation, and the choice to stay in bondage or face reality); and Six of Pentacles (number 6, equality between people, give and take without expectations, charity, help coming at the right time, and reaping what one sows).  This spread tells me every bit of preparation you engaged in last week is going to pay big dividends here. I mean, I hope you avoided goofing off too much because the Two of Wands is a major business partnership card.  The thing about this card is while it signals a major opportunity, the person being handed the opportunity better be prepared to show their work and some semblance of the finished product.  Any opportunity given by the Two of Wands is taken away just as quickly if you are not prepared. The Five of Cups speaks to an emotional issue, usually a relationship. In this spread, the Five feels like an expected loss.  This can take the form of a loved one dying after a long-term illness or friends growing apart and going their separate ways. I do not feel a financial aspect to this loss, but it will impact your ability to focus if you let it.  The Five of Cups is a grief card, but it also asks us to focus on what we have that remains. What resources are still available post-loss? This decision to either get lost in sadness and focus on obstacles or use what you have and move forward is further emphasized by the Eight of Swords.  The Eight of Swords often denotes victimhood and someone who either does not know how to do anything but be stuck or someone who sees benefit in being a victim. I feel like this Sword card is double-edged this week. On one hand, you will have the choice of how to move forward after a loss. On the other hand, you will probably encounter someone who is a total victim or be especially sensitive to others playing the victim this week.  Remain mindful of the manipulation that goes into victimhood and think about whether it serves you. This spread concludes with the Six of Pentacles, which reinforces the principle that all relationships are somehow a mirror. If you encounter a ton of strategically pathetic or greedy types, then this is the time to examine any of those tendencies you may have. The Six of Pentacles in this spread also tells me you have an unexpected ally, who may partially come forward this week.  Be gracious, but do not overstay your welcome.

To Think About:  Think about a time in your life you would rather forget.  What about your behavior during that time makes you cringe?  Were you blaming others for things you would rather not face?  Was your ego writing checks your brain could not cash? Could you just not get your life together?  We all have those periods of time when we were not exactly the heroes of our own story. What about the situations you find especially irritating this week remind you of those cringe-worthy points in your life?  This might be a good time to reflect on how you have grown past this versus how some of the old behaviors and resentments may be lingering.

Takeaways and Suggestions:

1. This week brings the choice of moving forward or staying distracted.  Since the distraction is likely to come after a loss, perhaps your best course of action is to allow yourself to be distracted for a set amount of time–maybe an hour or two–each day and keep your weekly goals concise.
2. Honoring the loss is a major part of moving past it, or becoming more functional.  There is no set time for grief. This is not a process that cares about your schedule, thank you very much.  However, you can control how you process and honor the loss.  This technique is a bit on the Jungian side, but it will help you process your grief.  I promise.
   1. Find a small object–such as a piece of jewelry, a rock, or old picture–that reminds you of who or what you lost.  The object should fit in your wallet and/or palm.
   2. Think of a place that reminds you of the loss.  This should be someplace you can get to daily, have a picture of, or have something representative enough of that place that you get the general vibe.  For example, if the loss was your beloved dog, you may want to sit on the recliner where the two of you watched television or go to the park and sit on the bench.  If the loss was an old friend who used to go to Disneyland with you and a daily trip to Mickey’s house is not feasible, find a picture of the two of you there or print out a picture of Disneyland to go with the object.
   3. Set aside 10 minutes daily, preferably at a time close to when you wake up, go to sleep, or take an afternoon break.  It should be a time when you feel relaxed and able to let your mind wander.
   4. Write a small statement of thanks for the time you shared with what you lost.  The statement does not need to be longer than five sentences, but does need to cover at least one good time you had, at least one lesson you learned, what you admire about what you lost, and how you choose to honor him, her, or it today.  Keep your pledge small, like donating a can of food to an animal shelter or rescue or listening to a song that was special to the two of you. If the loss was more acrimonious, definitely make this an act of self-care. This is not a time to criticize or demean yourself for how you feel you failed.
   5. During your designated time, go to the place you have designated and hold the chosen small object in your palm.
   6. Recite your statement of thanks three times, taking a deep breath between each recitation.
   7. Spend a couple more minutes letting your mind wander.  Let your pre-loss memories flow.
   8. Write down any thoughts and feelings that came up for you until you feel a little better.
   9. Remember this whenever you see the object during the day.
3. It is okay to accept help, but many people have a difficult time maintaining a sense of pride when they do so.  Honest give and take is a theme this week. If you journal or have been thinking about journaling, try this technique:
   1. Make a list of all the ways you have helped others today.  Did you expect something in return?
   2. Write at least one thought or feeling you had about each of these ways under or next to it.
   3. Make a list of all the way others have helped you today.  How did they behave to you before and after they helped you?  Do you believe they had expectations of you?
   4. Compare these two lists.  Does it make you feel more comfortable to give or receive?  If you feel you did more receiving of help this week, what is one small way that you can give of yourself this week?  If you feel you gave more than you got, what is one small act of self-care you can do to treat yourself this week?
4. We are bound to see a lot of ourselves in others, particularly parts of ourselves that we do not particularly find attractive.  You guessed it. It is time to make a couple lists in your journal:
   1. Either at the end of each day or at the end of the week, make a list of everyone to whom you gave advice.  Who were they? Did they ask for the advice? What was the general topic of the advice? Be specific about the situation and others involved.
   2. Write at least one thing you said to each person to the side or under their name on your list that applies to you.  Again, be specific.  Why do you need this advice right now?
   3. Write at least one thing you find positive about each person you gave advice to and at least one thing you find challenging about them.  Which qualities were easiest for you to write and which were the most difficult?
   4. Review your positive and negative qualities list.  Which of these traits do you find most similar to you?  How do you feel about each of these similarities?

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4/3/19: Dear Spice, I Keep Dreaming of an Old Friend…

Dear Spice,

 

I keep having these dreams about a friend that I haven’t spoken to in about 10 years.  I mean, we had a couple short conversations, but nothing really. So some background… We were friends in high school and a little after.  His life took off and he got successful, pretty much leaving me behind. He kept a lot of his other old friends and I could tell he had a better relationship with them.  Maybe he kept me around out of pity? Being around him started to suck because he’d always have these fabulous things, a lot of admirers online, and even hanging out with B or C-list types.  But my life still sucked and I felt like he was looking down on me. I think we barely pretend we know each other now, but I keep dreaming about him. The dreams used to sort of imitate life, where he’d sit me down and tell me why we weren’t friends anymore or I’d dream of a conversation and I could see that I pushed him away.  But then last night, I had a dream he went out of his way to find me and ask me questions about some project I was doing (there isn’t one).  He seemed genuinely happy to talk to me and the vibe was positive.

 

What does it mean?

 

–Emo Oldie

 

Dear Emo Oldie,

 

Goodness, there’s a lot to unpack here!  The first thing that jumps out is your relationship with your friend and the possible feelings surrounding that.  The letter doesn’t specify that you guys were BFF status, but it sounds like you were pretty close back in the day.  It also sounds in certain places you’re questioning if the friendship was as close as you thought it was. Then there are the sentiments that make it sound like you were the trainwreck of your crew, which might be the reason your friend doesn’t go out of his way to maintain a relationship.

 

But first, let’s start with the dream.

 

Major Dream Symbols:

 

Old Friend:  Dreaming of an old friend tends to represent a) a desire to be more childlike and irresponsible and b) the dreamer ruminating on certain aspects of the friendship.  There aren’t too many surprises here, per Aunty Flo.  In the context of your letter, there is something about this relationship that you feel didn’t play out quite right.  I noticed that you take a lot of the blame for what did or did not happen with this friend. Although I feel like you are probably overwhelmed in your daily life, I feel like this dream is more about you wishing you had your stuff together sooner and were good enough to remain friends with this guy.  The most positive aspect of this dream is the dreams are becoming more positive as you go and you’re actually processing your feelings of not being good enough.

 

But let’s see what the cards say…

 

I asked the cards what we need to know about how this person sees you and how they feel about you.  I got:  Judgement (number 20, seeing oneself in a new way, inevitable changes, being given a new lease on life, reaping the rewards of an old project, and making choices about handling old cycles); Eight of Wands (number 8, action and movement, life speeding up, new activities or engagements, messages, and possibly travel); Queen of Wands (fire sign female, possibly a narcissist, someone who needs a great deal of admiration, a generous friend who expects the same, possibly an overbearing person, a passionate person, someone who speaks their mind, a creative person, and possibly a straightforward person); Six of Cups (number 6, the need to let go of childhood attachments, nostalgia, an old friend reappearing, and possibly being held back by the past).  Well, you are right about your friend leaving you in the past. This card begins with someone looking to the future and forgoing old attachments, then ends with a card that strongly suggests the past is in the past. I don’t feel anything weird or negative here, but I do feel like your friend simply feels the two of you aren’t on the same wavelength anymore. The Eight of Wands in this spread corresponds to your geographical location, like you never made it out of the town where you guys met. To see you would be to go back to a place he doesn’t want to be. Too complicated for this dude. Speaking of too complicated, you are signified here by the Queen of Wands. This particular Queen is known for being demanding and perhaps high maintenance. I’m not sure what happened back in the day, but this guy is convinced you are just too much work and not enough return on investment.  He sees you as someone he can maybe exchange pleasantries with on social media, but that’s about it. Again, I need to emphasize there’s no bad blood here.

 

I asked the cards what we need to know about your friend thinking you’re pathetic or not good enough and I got:  Temperance (number 14, moderation, balancing feelings and impulses, unity and integration, possibly a one-sided relationship, and the need to take control of one’s life); Four of Pentacles (number 4, withholding in some area of life, money becoming one’s prison, obsession with gain and self-importance, scarcity fears, the need to draw boundaries, and possibly the need to protect oneself from others’ demands); Four of Wands (number 4, moving to a more stable period of life, leaving behind one’s childhood to forge ahead, a positive future, and perhaps moving or making home improvements); Six of Swords (number 6, healing, finding peace after a long time of struggle, respite after mental pressure and stress, entering a more peaceful phase of life, and possible a geographical move).  The first two cards (Temperance and Four of Pentacles) speak more directly to the question, as they represent how he views you. I need to stress that there’s nothing particularly negative here, just complicated. Your friendship was genuine, but your friend found you needy and my guess is kind of fucked up or troubled. I think it became too much for him. However, the second two cards are about stability and healing. How would he know that you’re making headway in your life if he’s not keeping tabs on you in some way? Methinks your friend might be reading your stuff more than you believe he does. I honestly feel like he knows that he has changed, but maybe he’s getting the feeling that you have too. The feeling I get around this is he’s happy for you, but doesn’t want to get too close or admit that he’s proud of you in some way.  Your friend doesn’t seem like he has the time or energy to open too many cans of worms.

 

I asked the cards if there will be any sort of substantial reconnection between the two of you and I got:  The Tower (number 16, a major shake up on one’s life, an identity crisis, a frightening change that leads to a positive outcome, a devastating experience that leads to liberation, freedom, saying things that have been repressed, and possibly creativity that demands expression); Five of Wands (number 5, possibly jealousy, a display of aggression or posturing, competition, defensiveness, stimulating situation, and the need to prove oneself); Three of Swords (number 3, grief, wounds that can only be healed with time, sadness, renewal if one allows oneself to grieve, and possibly release of painful memories); and Four of Cups (number 4, apathy, boredom and dissatisfaction, no longer being fulfilled by an old dream, a disappointing relationship, and possibly the need to take control).  I asked this question just for fun and the short answer is, “Yes, but…” The Tower card is a strange start to this spread because the Tower always denotes one of those huge, devastating life events. I feel like the most likely culprit is a mutual friend, teacher, or mentor or falling ill. The event is going to cause you both to re-evaluate your identities and possibly need to communicate. Also, the Five of Wands tells me you were perhaps low key jealous of your friend’s success and new connections. I feel like whatever this devastating event is, it will bring these feelings to the surface for you and you may get a little moody with him. This spread also suggests another possibility for reconnection. I believe a certain amount of this jealousy is rooted in you wanting to make it in the industry where he found success, but life leading you elsewhere.  I feel like the first three cards are not only telling you to process some of this jealousy and grief over the loss of your friendship, but also they speak of a project that is near and dear to your heart. I keep gravitating to the part of the Tower that speaks to creativity that needs expression. I honestly feel like you should keep working on a project you abandoned, even casually, until you have a product you can market. I feel like this will be a possible moment of reconnection because he was somehow connected to this project when you first conceived of it and will be very happy for you. The Four of Cups tells me you probably shouldn’t expect that much forward movement in this relationship.  This is mostly due to your friend constantly feeling like he has to be *on* all the time.  Although he enjoys his success, I feel like it wears him down and he doesn’t have the energy to connect with others who aren’t part of his world.  I really don’t feel like you have the energy to deal with the new him, so there you go. You guys might meet in the middle and forge a new normal, but don’t make this an expectation.

 

I asked the cards what you need to know about this dream and I got:  Queen of Cups (water sign female, nurturing and caring person, an intuitive person, someone prone to emotional flooding, a sensitive person who internalizes things, and possibly the need to engage in self-care); Ace of Pentacles (number 1 or 11, new life on the material plane, financial gain, a new career, stability, and possibly rebuilding); Four of Cups (number 4, apathy, boredom and dissatisfaction, no longer being fulfilled by an old dream, a disappointing relationship, and possibly the need to take control); and Five of Swords (number 5, a no-win situation, negotiations being blocked, accepting defeat, the need to choose one’s words carefully, and the need to be open to negotiation).  Ultimately, the dream is about you.  This is about your sense of life dissatisfaction, your regrets regarding how you handled that connection, your choices, and how you want to move forward here.  I feel like the Ace of Pentacles is providing encouragement for you to finish that old project, as I feel like it’s tied to a multitude of old wounds.  I feel like finishing this project will help you unburden yourself and feel better about your life choices. The Queen of Cups signifies your emotional nature, which your friend rightly pinpointed as “complex.”  You are someone who feels things differently. As such, stuffing your feelings and pretending they don’t exist is downright poisonous for you. This series of dreams is also about you coming to accept who you were and the mistakes you made.  It is also showing you how you pushed your old friends away by not accepting who you are, what you want in life, and standing up for yourself.  The Four of Cups makes another appearance here. In this spread, I feel like it indicates how perhaps you chased dreams that ultimately weren’t yours, which is why nothing really worked out for you.  You didn’t get honest about who you are and what you want. Your friend did, which is something that sticks in your craw. Part of the reason you are dreaming of your friend is you want to be like your friend.  I feel like you wonder if you could have achieved the same level of success and yes, you could have.  However, I don’t know that you would enjoy the schmoozing and politicking that goes into his career. The Ace of Pentacles tells me that perhaps you should use this knowledge as you complete and market your project, if that is what you choose to do.  The Ace is also telling you to rebuild using what you already have without putting too much focus on the final product.

 

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Tarot Reading of the Week: 4/1/19 – 4/7/19

Overview:  This week will be great for any of you who are looking to get a new project of the ground.  The project in question could be anything, from the business you’ve always wanted to start to finally organizing and shredding paperwork.  However, the key to getting maximum pay off from this week is remaining focused on the goal and being willing to put in the daily grind without spreading yourself too thin.  This week also comes with a major caution against getting overly lost in those people and things–like new significant others or binge watching Netflix with a little take out–that can go from pleasant distraction to serious diversion in seconds flat.  As always, THIS IS NOT MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE OR DIAGNOSIS. THIS IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. PLEASE DO NOT TAKE ANY SUGGESTIONS MADE IN THIS COLUMN AS MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE OR DIAGNOSIS.

April 1 – April 7.

I asked the cards what we need to know about April 1 – April 7 and I got:  Eight of Pentacles (number 8, mastery of one’s chosen trade, hard work and effort creating great skill, using one’s skills to great advantage, profitable times due to diligence, perhaps one who is attempting to balance too many projects, the need to focus one’s talent, and time to go public with a project); Five of Wands (number 5, competitive or jealous energy, grandstanding, a mock display of aggression, the need to defend one’s opinions and actions, and competition); King of Wands (fire sign male, a visionary, one who does not gladly suffer fools, someone who takes action, a successful business person, hasty judgements or rash decisions, and someone who is loyal as long as they are not restricted); and Knight of Cups (water sign male, creative action and imagination, someone who is loving and sensitive, someone who lacks follow through and initiative, possibly a new romantic interest, and entering a creative phase in life).  The energy in this spread is overarchingly about work and getting new projects off the ground. Right off the bat, the Eight of Pentacles tells me this is not the week to stray from a schedule or daily actions that you know will get you to your destination. In fact, the Eight is a sign that these actions will give you the result you seek, provided you are mindful of the ways in which you are likely to sabotage yourself (more on that later). The Five of Wands brings a defensive, competitive, or straight up envious energy to a spread. My instinct is the Five is about defensiveness and jealousy in this spread, probably in the form of a person who is only too happy to watch your self-sabotage. I feel like this person or energy rears its ugly head because you are making progress. Think about it: why would whoever or whatever this thing is care about your projects if you were not onto something? I feel like the King of Wands has a double meaning in this spread.  The first meaning is the King refers to you and possibly a business partner or someone who takes a genuine emotional or financial interest in your success. The energy surrounding you/them will not cope well with goofing off this week. The second meaning of the King is a warning to keep your cool. The King is wise, action-oriented, and successful, but can be a bit of a judgmental butt munch when he gets agitated. You may be especially sensitive to the energy indicated by the Five this week and the King serves as a warning to keep your judgments—and mouth—in check. I feel like any nastiness you send out this week will come back to haunt you like expired fast food. The Knight of Cups is a dreamy fellow who represents creativity, idealized love, and a distraction. If you are single, you could get someone interesting in your DM’s. You attached folk will feel a strong urge to lose yourself in your partner and a warm comforter. However, the rest of the spread tells me to either resist temptation or schedule this attractive distraction for when you have accomplished something tangible.  Trust me, who or whatever this temptation is will be there later.

To Think About:  What are some projects that you feel most passionate about, but you feel guilty because you believe they have taken way too long to complete?  What have been your major obstacles to completing them? How can you balance your life to handle your workload, but still make time for the spontaneous fun things?

Takeaways and Suggestions:

1. Procrastination is a huge theme this week.  Make a list of each project that has been on your mind or that you have desperately wanted to complete, but have procrastinated.
2. Write down one reason you have found to procrastinate next to each neglected project.  Now put a feeling word next to this reason. Is that feeling word positive or negative?  Does the reason for your procrastination justify how you feel about procrastinating?
3. Rate each of your projects with a number between one and five in terms of how strongly you feel about it.  A rating of ‘one’ represents not caring if it is ever finished, whereas a ‘five’ rating means this is your life’s work and your existence will lose some meaning if you don’t finish this.
4. Now rate each project on your list with a letter rating from A to E in terms of doing something out of obligation or because you believe you should do it to be a nice person.  An ‘A’ rating represents a project you are doing for yourself. An ‘E’ rating signifies a project you are doing to satisfy an obligation to someone else. Your projects rated ‘one’ and ‘A’ need to be placed at the top of your list.
5. Hasty words and judgments are also a theme this week.  Perhaps try these tips.  In fact, commit to using these tips to help you in at least one situation where you tend to judge quickly.  This isn’t the week for snark.

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