Dear Spice: I Can’t Catch a Break

Dear Spice: I Can’t Catch a Break

 

Dear Spice:

I’ve been in quite the funk.  You see, I took a job out of necessity, even though it paid barely enough to keep me afloat.  A couple of emergencies later and things have gone from bad to worse.  Not only do I have to take a bunch of side gigs to not be overdrawn all the time, but my energy is low and I think I’m depressed.  I’m doing almost everything I know to do.  I’m looking for something else, trying to be responsible with my money, and generally trying to keep my s**t in order.  The problem is the low energy, I feel as sluggish on the outside as I do on the inside, and every rejection from a potential employer gets more and more discouraging.  Is there anything I can do to pull myself out of it?

Love,

Funky Chicken

Dear Funky:

My condolences on the funk.  When I tune in to you, this funk seems like that bum relative who always smells like potato chips and insists on staying at your place for waaaaaayyyyyyy too long.  It also feels like the seeds of the funk were planted about six months before you saw any sprouts in the soil.  The funk itself feels like it has been going on since about February or March.  I am compelled to ask what happened six months before, like in July or August?  My take is your question needs to be addressed in three parts: what happened six months prior to the funk, what’s fueling the funk, and what is the best thing you can do to pull yourself out of it?

I asked the cards what was the activating event that created the funk and I got:  King of Wands (fire sign male, visionary with good follow through, a passionate person who does not like to be weighed down with demands, someone who does not suffer fools gladly, someone who makes hasty judgements, and someone successful in business); the Emperor (number 4, authoritarian control, “daddy issues,” the need for self-discipline, a warning against becoming too rigid or controlling, and the need to take control of one’s life); Queen of Cups (water sign female, a sensitive and nurturing person, one who gets flooded with emotions and intuitive impulses, a sympathetic person who gives good advice, the need to nurture and be kind to oneself, psychic awareness, and someone who lives in their own world); and Ten of Cups (number 10, sharing love and happiness with others, fulfillment on all levels, dreams coming true, and feeling happy).  This spread is quite bizarre on the surface.  The first two cards are quite male and border on dogmatic.  We have the King of Wands who is action-oriented and isn’t afraid to call bullshit on the unnecessary.  He can also be quite judgmental, which comes from discomfort with uncertainty and encountering things outside his little bubble.  Then there’s the Emperor, who is either a dictatorial figure or a sign you really need to suck it up and pull yourself together.  The next two cards are quite emotional in nature.  We have the Queen of Cups, who is emotional, sensitive, intuitive, and tends to alternate between emoting outwardly and living in her own little world.  After the Queen, we have the Ten of Cups, which is the card that indicates relationships and emotions are in harmony.  I think the Queen is at the center of this because I feel a very emotional woman who likes to come on like your bestie, but only does so as a method of emotional manipulation.  My manipulation hypothesis is supported by the presence of the Emperor right next to the Queen.  The Emperor is a card that’s all about control, so when you combine it with the overly emotional Queen, you get someone who is probably highly reactive, easily wounded, and uses their emotional reactions to control others.  This feels like someone who would happily engage in gaslighting and try to tell someone what their reality is, rather than dignify anything the other person is thinking or feeling.  Methinks, my dear Funky, you either encountered this person around this time or you knew them for a while, but this is when they struck.  This spread gives me an idea why this person took such a disliking to you.  Remember, the Queen and the Emperor aren’t the most adaptable cards in the deck, so the most likely scenario is you represented something they either really want for themselves or that they didn’t understand.  Rather than examine why they were having such an adverse reaction, they made it about you, lashed out, and did whatever they could to sabotage you.  I’m sorry you met them.

I asked the cards what created the funk itself and I got:  Ten of Swords (number 10, gossip, betrayal, possibly a bad back, slander, the end of a cycle of arguments, the need to leave a bad situation for a better one, mental stress, and possibly the need for a vacation); Seven of Pentacles (number 7, the need for patience, gestation, preparing for a business or career, concentrating on an area of life that will bear fruit, and the need to lay a positive foundation); Nine of Cups (number 9, the wish card, emotional contentment, fulfillment, and possibly rose-colored glasses); and Judgment (number 20, inevitable change, freedom to start anew, liberation, ingrained patterning operating, the need to recognize when and where change is needed, changes in relationships, and the need to broaden one’s perspective).  I’m going to put this as delicately as I can because I know what I’m about to say can be hard to hear (or read).  Based on the cards and my gut feeling, I think you encountered a series of upsets about ten months ago, saw things exactly for what they were, and buried your thoughts and feelings to just get through it.  The Ten of Swords is a card that talks about gossip and betrayal.  It is right next to the Seven, which talks about hard work bearing fruit.  I want to say you put a lot of effort into something you probably didn’t want to do, but felt you had to do because it was the right thing.  The Ten being before the hard work card tells me you somewhat expected backlash for your good deed, but you felt you had to put up with it anyway.  Even though you are used to this negativity, you personalized it and felt a strong urge to tell off those involved.  Maybe you should have because I see you stuffing your feelings just to get through the situation, rather than maintaining your boundaries.  The Nine of Cups shows me you forced yourself to be more optimistic than you were feeling, even though everything in your body said it was wrong.  Judgment tells me you have not seen yourself or the others involved the same way since.  The funk started when you did not act integrity with what you were thinking and feeling.  I believe although the situation that planted the seed does not involve the same individuals as the one that kicked off your funk, there are many parallels.  The main parallels I see are you having to work around emotionally manipulative people without creating too much of a ruckus but dying inside to make it happen.

I asked the cards what you can do to pull yourself out of the funk and I got:  The Empress (number 3, creativity, fertility, nurturing energy, smothering maternal energy, productivity, issues with one’s mother or lover, the need to love without smothering, and the need to know when to let go); Princess of Swords (young air sign person, someone with a bright mind and a lot to say, letters and contracts, gossip, and the stirrings of new thoughts and ideas); King of Wands (fire sign male, visionary with good follow through, a passionate person who does not like to be weighed down with demands, someone who does not suffer fools gladly, someone who makes hasty judgements, and someone successful in business); and Princess of Wands (young fire sign person, an energetic person, initiative and creativity, and the promise of new ideas and ventures).  The overall theme of this spread is nurturing your creativity and bringing your ideas to life.  Creativity is a huge component of the Empress and both Princesses.  These ladies nurture themselves and others through their creativity.  The Empress tells me not only do you have a ton of creative ideas and talent, but also the real urge to apply some of this creativity to your domestic situation.  I get the feeling you have been more sensitive than usual to clutter and carrying extra weight in any area of your life, which is a direct result of not honoring your gut feelings around these emotionally abusive and manipulative people.  You can symbolically clean them out of your life by cleaning and clearing your space, your body, and your aura.  The Princess of Swords is all about ideas and the cerebral aspect of creativity.  She also deals with contracts and logistics, which needs to be part of your creative plan.  The Princess of Wands is more about the wonder and possibility of your ideas taking shape.  You also need to feel a little of that hope.  The King of Wands is a supportive figure in this spread because he has the energy of someone who knows how to put their creative ideas and projects into the world.  The short answer to your funk?  Get creative, move your body, and clean your space.  The only number represented in this spread is three, so this change can occur in three weeks or three months from whenever you decide to start.

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5 Whys Reading: 11/15/18 JTW

This client asked for a 5 Whys reading, which is probably the most misunderstood reading I offer.  The 5 Whys was taken from the 5 Whys principle originally used in the KonMari Method to determine whether you need to keep an object or toss it.  The 5 Whys reading is used to determine whether an action, belief, or some aspect of the client’s life is worth keeping or needs to be tossed.  This is not a good reading format to use if you just want general information. The premise is simple.  You zero in on the central issue, then ask why five times.  I know five is the optimal number to ask why, but I rarely need to ask why more than three times.  The best way to show you how it works is by posting a reading I just did for someone (with their permission, of course).

The Situation:  JTW asked for a 5 Whys reading on what she described as advice addiction.  JTW stated she seeks a great deal of psychic advice, even when she knows the answer to her questions and at great financial detriment to herself.  She requested a 5 Whys reading because she wants to know why she does this and hopes the information she gets from a reading will help her figure out how to stop.  Yeah, the irony of getting a reading to figure out why she is getting so many readings was not lost on either of us.

I asked the cards what JTW needs to know and I got:  The Chariot (number 7, victory, forward movement, the choice to be in charge of or ruled by one’s feelings, needing to push through strong feelings to make a positive choice, a warning against inertia, and the need to exercise mind over matter); Nine of Cups (number 9, the wish card, emotional fulfillment, being content with the world, and possibly rose-colored glasses); Princess of Wands (young fire sign female, energetic young person, promising new projects, and stirrings of creativity); and the Eight of Cups (number 8, a dream that is no longer fulfilling, loss, a lonely emotional trip that leads to renewal, and possibly a vacation).  This spread tells me JTW takes loss quite personally, even when the circumstances are out of her control.  The Chariot is a card of success through self-will, which I believe represents JTW’s desire to change her life for the better.  The Princess of Wands tells me this girl has a lot of nervous and creative energy, especially because it is sandwiched between two emotional cards.  The Princess between the two Cups cards may be indicative of a fantasy life, probably to help JTW escape from feelings of loss or sadness.  The Nine of Cups is a card of emotional contentment and getting one’s wish, which is further underscored by the presence of the Chariot next to it.  However, I feel like the Nine between the Chariot and the Princess indicates rose-colored glasses more than anything.  This spread ends with the Eight of Cups, which tells me JTW tends to get readings as a reaction to loneliness or perceived rejection.  Let’s find out whether that’s true…

I asked the cards why JTW gets so many readings and I got:  The Hermit (number 9, isolation, the need to seek one’s own council, turning one’s back on the external world to go within, preparing for a positive change, possibly loneliness, and the need to review one’s life); Knight of Swords (air sign male, good conversationalist with an intelligent mind, a disruptive influence, plans starting to take shape, impatience, and the need to read carefully before signing contracts); Six of Wands (number 6, victory, receiving the rewards for hard work, success in business endeavors, and a personal victory); and the Nine of Wands (number 9, someone used to opposition and having to defend themselves, having the same old argument, the need to walk one’s own path, one who has been through a lengthy dispute, and having to take up the challenge one more time).  What immediately strikes me about this spread is that it begins and ends with nine energy, which tells me JTW feels profoundly lonely.  The Hermit speaks to a wise person who can easily keep their own council, as well as someone who needs to stop listening to others for their own sanity.  The Nine of Wands adds an element of mistrust to the mix, like JTW has not been able to trust loved ones with her hopes and dreams.  The Six of Wands next to the Nine of Wands suggests to me JTW wants to be victorious so she can stop being criticized by those closest to her.  The Knight of Swords next to the Hermit suggests to me a mind that doesn’t stop.  I wouldn’t be surprised if JTW experiences a great deal of anxiety, specifically racing thoughts that are triggered by an upset in her life.

I asked the cards why JTW feels so lonely and mistrustful of others and I got:  Three of Cups (number 3, friendship, celebration, the birth of a child or new creative project, jubilant feminine energy, and joy); the Moon (number 18, intuition, dreams, feminine energy, emotional receptiveness, a time to reflect on one’s feelings, mood swings, increased creativity, and psychic abilities); Nine of Pentacles (number 9, success, self-sufficiency, working through a lonely time for a reward, enjoying the fruits of one’s labor, and freedom); and the Queen of Wands (fire sign female, possibly narcissistic person, someone who demands respect and possibly worship, loyal and loving person, someone who is overbearing to a more sensitive person, a straightforward person who knows what they want, a creative and generous person, and sometimes with a fiery temper).  This spread is quite positive on the surface because it tells of celebration, creativity, and a woman with a regal bearing.  However, the Queen of Wands has a definite dark side.  She can be entitled, self-centered, and lack empathy when offended.  The energy surrounding the Queen in this case feels overbearing and controlling.  This tells me an older female in JTW’s life took it upon herself to royally dislike JTW and probably used get togethers as the time to air her grievances, which would explain the excess of feminine energy in this spread.  I believe the Moon is the card that most signifies JTW in this spread because it tells of an intuitive, sensitive, and moody person.  The fact that a highly intuitive card is between a card that signifies celebrations with friends and a card that signifies having to rely on oneself is telling.  The sequence of these cards strongly suggests JTW is a sensitive, empathic person who probably got wind of others’ agendas.  Feeling the lies under the surface is never easy for an empath but was probably made worse by the actions of this older woman.  I feel like this dynamic between JTW and this older woman has been going on for several years because mistrust is JTW’s programmed response and she does not tend to reach out to friends as a result.  In light of the advice addiction question, this tells me JTW is basically renting friendship and a sympathetic ear when she asks for psychic advice.

I asked the cards why this older woman dislikes JTW so much and I got:  the Princess of Cups (young water sign female, the dawning of psychic abilities, creativity, a sensitive child, an inner child that needs to be acknowledged, and someone with a great imagination); the Emperor (number 4, “daddy issues,” authoritarian person or situation, “control freak,” the need for control and discipline, the need to initiate a project, and a reminder not to become to rigid); the Hanged Man (number 12, feeling “stuck,” being in limbo, the need to surrender unnecessary parts of the self, being suspended between the past and the future, the need to look at a situation differently, and a holding pattern); and the Ten of Wands (number 10, feeling overly burdened in a relationship, martyrdom, taking on too much responsibility and worry in a relationship, the need to delegate, and possibly using one’s burdens as an excuse to stay in a bad situation).  This spread feels like the older woman is JTW’s mother due to the type of resentment shown here.  The Princess of Cups signifies JTW and validates the previous spread because this card signifies an intuitive, sensitive kid.  Given that the Princess is deeply creative and most likely lives in her own little world, a more rigid control freak like the older woman would be seriously upset.  This is further intensified by the Ten of Wands, which suggests this woman felt burdened by having to take care of JTW and wished JTW would focus on her feelings, instead of being a kid.  The Hanged Man provides further clues because this card prompts us to let go of the parts of ourselves that are weighing us down.  I believe this older woman is a high functioning alcoholic, seriously depressed, or both because she reads like someone who either likes or feels a little too comfortable in her rut.  JTW was probably annoying to her because she was a creative, energetic child.  The Princess shows a need to be acknowledged, which I believe JTW had and may still have.  The more JTW vied for her mother’s acknowledgement, the more this person pushed her away and acted coldly.

I asked the cards why this is manifesting as JTW asking for so many readings and I got:  The Moon (number 18, intuition, dreams, feminine energy, emotional receptiveness, a time to reflect on one’s feelings, mood swings, increased creativity, and psychic abilities); Three of Cups Three of Cups (number 3, friendship, celebration, the birth of a child or new creative project, jubilant feminine energy, and joy); Nine of Swords (number 9, depression, sadness, a clear head is needed to find solutions, things may not be as bad as they seem, negative self-talk, and real difficulties to overcome); and Death (number 13, the end of a cycle, rebirth, transition, the need to move on, something in one’s life that has come to an end, transformation, and the need to let go of what no longer serves one).  The first thing that comes to mind with this spread is JTW gets emotional flashbacks of rejection every time something in her life ends or transitions in a major way.  The Nine, the Moon, and Death all support this.  The Nine of Wands is a card that strongly indicates depression and negative beliefs, while the Moon further points to a period of emotional instability when she feels like things are going to change.  Death signifies changes that are beyond one’s control.  The Death card tells us there’s nothing JTW can do to stop these changes, like there was nothing she could do to get her mother’s approval.  Both scenarios were not about her, but both have her scrambling to find the meaning in them.  Maybe there was none.  The Three of Cups points to friendships and celebrations, which the rest of the reading established JTW doesn’t necessarily trust.  I can’t tell if she’s been burned before, she’s afraid of burning her friends out with her neediness, or a little of both.  There is every indication in this reading JTW is a sensitive person, so it makes sense she would want to protect herself as much as she does.  In short, JTW is getting so many readings to feel like someone is on her side and to have someone to talk to, without feeling judged or as though she is making them feel drained with her neediness.

I asked what the best thing for JTW to do in order to break this pattern is and I got:  King of Pentacles (earth sign male, a financially secure person, success in business, someone who has earned respect for hard work, loyal and reliable person, and the need to be more cautious in financial matters); King of Wands (fire sign male, a visionary, ideas that lead to success, one who doesn’t suffer fools gladly, one who can make rash judgements, a passionate person who does not like being restricted by a demanding person, and time to put one’s creative endeavors into the world); Knight of Wands (fire sign male, vision without staying power, someone who puts personal freedom first, one who makes rash decisions and tends to disappear from others’ lives quickly, upsurge of energy within oneself, impatience, and the will to move ahead); and the Emperor (number 4, “daddy issues,” authoritarian person or situation, “control freak,” the need for control and discipline, the need to initiate a project, and a reminder not to become to rigid).  This whole spread has male energy cards—two kings, a knight, and the Emperor.  This is a sharp contrast to the decidedly female vibe in the rest of the reading, as well as a sharp contrast to who JTW is as a person.  This tells me JTW will need to get in touch with her more stereotypically male, action-oriented energy.  The King of Pentacles is a reminder to be more secure and persistent in her efforts.  The previous spread insinuates JTW tends to get readings as a source of encouragement, whereas the King of Pentacles wants her to draw on her own hard work.  Also, the King of Pentacles is a major financial card.  This tells me JTW would benefit from tallying up what she spends on these readings, then figure out how many of her hopes and dreams she could be funding with that money.  The King and Knight of Wands both indicate hasty judgements and being focused on a vision.  These cards are both an instruction and a warning for JTW.  On one hand, these cards are telling her to remain focused on her hopes, dreams, and plans.  The Wands cards next to the King of Pentacles tells me the best way for JTW to stop getting readings is focusing her anxious energy on the practical steps needed to achieve her goals.  The Emperor card is a card of control, both being controlled by others and self-control.  Again, this card serves as a warning and instructions for JTW.  The warning is for JTW not to take others’ opinions as gospel.  It’s okay to ask for advice, but definitely take it with a grain of salt.  The boundary might be for JTW to listen for practical suggestions, as opposed to predictions.  For example, she may call a psychic and ask for the fifth time in a week whether she should apply for a certain job.  Three out of five psychics tell her to apply because she’ll get it, then start to give her advice regarding what they want in a candidate.  JTW might be best served by ignoring the prediction that she will get the job and focusing her energy on making the application tailored to the job description.  Listening for the prediction and deciding she will live according to that is giving someone else control.  Applying the practical advice is using self-control.  This spread is strongly telling her the second scenario will get her farther.  Another thing to notice is there are no emotional cards in this spread, which tells me now is not the time to get into emotional loops or lost in daydreams.  This spread strongly tells JTW to focus on actions, rather than feelings or thoughts.

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