The Card: Like the name suggests, Temperance is a card of balance. No matter what the situation, that balance must always begin within you. The querent is being told now is not the time for temper tantrums or finally telling off that jack ass who happens to be the root of all festered resentments. Now is the time for the querent to acknowledge their feelings, try to find something positive about the other side, and move forward. If the querent has some crazy scheme or grandiose expectation for themselves, Temperance tells them to scale it back from 11 to a nice 6 or 7… possibly an 8, if they really must. For example, a querent who is looking to go completely vegan and throw out 80% of all plastic in their home this week may want to break that up into smaller goals, lest they get a rude awakening. In a relationship spread, Temperance tells us this is not the week for grand gestures or to finally tell your significant other how badly their Netflix binges really piss you off. This card calls for being able to state your feelings as objectively as possible, but actively listen to the other person. They have a point as well and a compromise can—and should—be reached here. Any actions taken should be for the long-term good of both parties and the relationship, sayeth Temperance. In a financial or career spread, Temperance is a sign that risky ventures are not going to work this week. Stick with the script, but slowly add in new elements. If you’re proposing a new way of doing things to the powers that be, it’s best you lead with acknowledging the company’s positive attributes and what you’d like to keep. Be prepared to not completely get your way, but the result will be workable.
Warnings: Above all, Temperance is a card of inner balance and any equitable solution must begin with you. Seeing this card sometimes makes me nervous because Temperance often makes an appearance when the situation is at its most raw. IF THIS CARD APPEARS, YOU PROBABLY FEEL ULTRA OFF BALANCE SOMEWHERE, POSSIBLY TO THE POINT OF BEING AN EMOTIONAL TRAINWRECK. That said, look at yourself and where you might be mistaken before taking your opinion to a wider audience. What do you really need when you blast your friend who doesn’t share your views, to the point it gets personal? How are their beliefs even about you, or is that the real problem? Is this about your beliefs and things you hold dear, or is it about your ego? Were you disagreeing on principal, or was this about you needing to just go off because you feel helpless in other areas of your life? Be honest because your intentions will show. Also, it’s often best to avoid excess in anything when Temperance makes an appearance.
- What is the first situation that comes to mind when you read this description (i.e. post-election gloating, post-election sadness, finding out just how different you are from your family, needing to revamp a project at work, you and your spouse have different views of how relatives should be handled, et al)?
- How are you likely to encounter this situation this week (e.g. you go on social media, you have to plan for the upcoming holiday, a meeting with your boss is scheduled for this week, the aforementioned relatives insist on visiting, etc.)?
- Who are the other people or agencies involved in this situation (i.e. your spouse, your in-laws, your drunk uncle, friends with different beliefs, that attention-seeking friend, your employer, et al)?
- What do you want from the others in this situation (e.g. more creative control at work, no drunken verbal abuse at Thanksgiving dinner, for your friend to cut it out, to not deal with an in-law visit, etc.)?
- Have the others indicated they’d be willing to give it to you? Have you asked? What did they say or do that indicates this answer?
- What do others involved want from you in this situation (i.e. attention, to not be held responsible for their drinking, to stay over whenever they want, for you to step up at work, et al)?
- Are you willing to give this to them? Why or why not?
- How are your answers to Questions 4-8 similar? How are they different?
- What are three feelings you have when you think about this situation (e.g. guilt, anxiety, boredom, anger, happiness, anticipation, fear, calm, etc.)?
- What are three thoughts you have when you think about this situation (i.e. “here we go again;” “I have to deal with what?”; “maybe it’ll be different this time;” et al)?
- Do you feel like your answers to the above questions are positive or negative? Why?
- Based on your answers to the above questions, what is one thing you can do this week to help facilitate a more positive outcome (e.g. use paraphrasing and active listening, work out more to hold your temper, write in a journal before addressing your family, focus on the positive at work, etc.)? Are you likely to do these things? Why or why not?
- What is one prayer, affirmation, song, meditation, ritual, or activity you can use this week to keep yourself in a decent frame of mind (i.e. Slayer’s greatest hits, Brain Sync meditations on YouTube, yoga nidra, a Durga mantra, et al)?
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